Has the robotic female voice telling you to, “Bear right in 500 feet,” worn out her welcome? Maybe the Simpson’s branded bedspread, wallpaper, dishes, chess set, collectible figurines and toilet seat cover aren’t enough to show your level of fandom. No matter the reason, TomTom, manufacturer of GPS navigational systems, just announced that Homer Simpson is the newest voice to be added to the company’s queue of dowloadable direction givers.
According to Marc Saltzman of Sync, you get more than just instructions directing you from point A to B. Users can expect comments like, “Take the third right. We might find an ice cream truck! Mmm…ice cream,” and “Woo hoo! You have reached your destination and you can hold you head up high because you are a genius!!”
Ssound bytes are available here or you can just download the voice pack for US $12.95. Other celebrities lending their voices to the GPS airwaves include John Cleese, Burt Reynolds and Dennis Hopper.
If you’re listening TomTom, let’s see if we can add some non-celebrity voices to the list, including: sultry-sounding chick from Stimulex radio ads, angry person yelling in a Cockney accent, impassioned Southern Baptist Minister and the guy from those old Micro Machine commercials who could speak at like 10000 words a minute.
Suggestions for celebrity voices and some utter-worthy phrases:
Mike Tyson – “This traffic is unimpreganable, bear left.”
Tom Brokaw – “Arrive at destination, I’m Tom Brokaw and that’s your evening commute.”
Jerry Seinfeld – “Stop and pay toll..ever notice how toll collectors are surlier when there is less traffic passing through, why is that?”
Snoop Dogg – “Yo, bear to the rizzle and stop sleeping, puff puff pass.”
James Earl Jones – “Five more miles and you will have reached the Daaaaaark Side (followed by Vader-like heavy breathing).”
Johnny Cochrane – “Calculating distance…if you get pulled over, tell him you were speeding because you had to use the bathroom. If you have to shit, they must acquit.”
Billy Mays – “If you take this next right, we’ll not only throw in the next five sets of directions but you can get there in half the time and not hit a single red light.”
Posted by: Nick